30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day 8

A Moment I Felt Most Satisfied With My Life

I'm only 20 so I have a while left to feel satisfied with my life.  To be honest I have never felt completely content with my life but the closest to it could be now.

I'm going to be real here. For over 10 years of my life I was bullied.  There wasn't much physical bullying until early high school but a lot of name calling, a lot of pulling hair, taking advantage of the fact I was too shy to speak up or fight back.  I was 5 when I first started to get called names so I got used to it.  Despite all this I was pretty happy at the beginning of high school.  I had my best friend, I had made tonnes of new friends and there was a big group of us together every day.  Obviously that didn't last.  One girl in the group managed to turn everyone, including my best friend of  10 years, against me.  They picked on me, made me cry, were rude to me, made fun of me, and I still don't know why to this day.  I lost all my friends and was still getting bullied.  Thankfully a couple of girls said I could hang about with them at school.  You know who you are and thank you, so much.

The end of high school I struggled with self image.  I can't say I was depressed as I never went to a doctor and I'm sure people have gone through worse so I never made a fuss about seeing one, but I was close to it.  Crying every night, hating myself, how I looked, my personality and I regret doing some things.  I was always a top student but my final year of school, my teachers gave up trying to teach me and even for my best subject, art, I just scraped a pass.

After high school I struggled to get into uni while every one else was off getting their degree.  I've had three years of college, which have been so much fun and probably the best years of my life despite getting rejected from every university for 3 years.  College was where I discovered myself, I gained confidence, the bullying stopped, and felt normal.  This third year of college, away from home, has been the best.  I've finally made new friends who have been brilliant and I wish we were closer sooner.  I've developed my own style of working.  I've moved in with my first boyfriend and he makes me so happy. AND even though it's just into first year again, I've finally got into university.


Song of the day: A song that I know all the words to

There are a lottt but here's one - Pencil Full of Lead by Paolo Nutini